My start to 2013 was poor having spent a considerable amount of time being ill, and confined to a hospital, and then home - I'm still unwell. Despite this, for whatever reason, I never appealed to my gods, I didn't think to meditate or engage in my spirituality on any level.
Reflecting on this, I realise how odd my behaviour seemed. If I had been in a similar situation in my younger days, I would have offered prayers and made appeals to a god I didn't really believe in, yet, here I am firmly entrenched in my chosen polytheist path, and while enduring this latest health crisis I made no attempt to connect with my gods, or use any of the methods I have learned over the years to improve my situation. Why?
It could have been my brain was frazzled from the lack of sleep over an eight (8) day period, and fuzzy from high temperatures and infections, even so, shouldn't my faith has been my comfort? A solution to the deep, dark place in which I found myself?
How could I have forgotten such a major part of my life? Even when I noticed that my religion was not noted on my admission forms, I thought to amend them, but never did. All was forgotten.
I feel this is something on which I should reflect/meditate. Why did I feel so distant from my gods, the spirits of place, my core. How do I get that connection back so I never forget during a crisis again?
I should never have felt so alone, knowing my gods, and the spirits of my land as I do. It is obvious something in me needs to change, and this should be my focus for 2013.